Calm before the storm.

Though I only have one more day to enjoy feeling like normal, I'm feeling really good. Thanks to a friend I've discovered the blog of a girl called Jess who was also diagnosed with cancer at 19. Unfortunately for her though, her cancer came back after her initial surgery and she passed away this year at 24 years old. Though my diagnosis is not terminal it was still very inspiring. She was very intelligent and funny, and... well what can you say about someone who lives a full life full of love for 5 years knowing they wont make it to 30? Amazing.

Its also nice reading about someone else's experiences with chemo. She had a cycle similar to mine in structure (bad chemo week, immune system down week, good week) though of course she had a very different and much more aggressive cancer than me and naturally different drugs and she had to move to brisbane for her treatment. Of course its heartbreaking reading the blog of this girl who knew she was going to die (and did die), but it has been... I dont know. Positive somehow. I've gotten a lot out of it. Not sure what. Strength? Something like that.

Besides the thought of finishing chemo and being better again I have something to look forward to now- I have decided to do a Suicide/Mental Health First Aid course at some point in the future. However, my chemotherapy puts a limit on my availability which means I probably wont get to do the course I want, or wont get to do it for some months. However, as a friend said on twitter it's a goal that even if it's later this year or next, I know will help people & I will find it stimulating. And since It will go for a maximum of two days (really, probably only a matter of hours) its achievable. I'm excited. Its been something at the back of my mind almost a year, and it'd be wonderful to achieve something so positive this year thats completely separate from cancer and hospital and about helping other people better.


So, I think I mentioned the stem cell thing in the last post right? I'l recap then I'l explain that whole thing better. Next week I have three days of chemo with three different drugs. Ones pretty strong. So I'm anticipating feeling pretty nasty afterwards. At least I have many hundreds of dollars worth of drugs to help take the edge off? Hm.
So after that, I'l be recovering, and then from days 10 to 14 (just as I start feeling better!) my immune system will be lowest. So that will be thursday to sunday of the week after next.

The week following that will be the third and best week just before the next (five day) round. During that week I'l be having an autologous Peripheral Blood Stem Cell Transplant. But what does this mean??? I didn't know either so I found out. Autologous means I'm both the donor and the recipient. I'l be having three or four daily blood tests to make sure I'm recovered and have lots of stem cells popping up in the post chemo recovery frenzy, and then I'l have the procedure. Which sounds a bit gross and tiresome. I spend four to six hours lying in a bed with a catheter either in my neck or chest (yuck) from which a whole lot of blood is taken out and run through an amazing machine which takes out the stem cells, and then pumps it back in again (so much yuck).

Why?

Chemo works by attacking rapidly dividing cells in the body. This includes hair follicles, the lining of your mouth, cancer cells -and bone marrow. Now, you can do without the others doing so well, but you need bone marrow. In cases of more aggressive chemotherapy, you can wind up doing a fair bit of damage to the marrow or just not have much left. So ideally earlier on in the chemo before that happens you take out either some bone marrow or stem cells (thank goodness I dont have to have a bone marrow transplant. UGH.) to keep frozen just in case.



And here's a picture of me in the brown wig (non facebook people haven't seen it yet) and a cute hat from forever new. Not looking sickly and pale somehow makes me feel less sickly and pale :)